The Merchandise Meme!

[burningprez.livejournal.com]

The White Chalice has received a shipment of action figures, posters and other such things of its crew as well as their machines. HOWEVER there IS something about it that would just be WRONG.

Using the Random Number Generator Find out if its:

1 - Proportionally incorrect/Far off from the ACTUAL Design Specs
2 - Has a undesirable feature (Voice Recordings with something the character would never say)
3 - Is just plain wrong (like, something that a character would not want to be associated with. Ever. Like a Getter Easy Bake Oven)

Comments

2

[guardian-lynx.livejournal.com]

(I feel helpful today, so here's a Link (http://www.random.org/) to a random number generator so people don't have to type it in/have it bookmarked.)

Why is there an action figure of me?

...and what on God's blue earth is it wearing? Did they confuse me with Major Sakamoto? I do wear a skirt, you know.

1

[capt-fanservice.livejournal.com]

W-well this is pretty disproportionate, but if that's what sells I'll take it as a compliment...

[gundam-for-xmas.livejournal.com]

High Grade?!

3

[aceshighsniper.livejournal.com]

What are these body pillows for!?

[emorangerpink]

They're... therapeutic. If you have a bad back it's easier to sleep curled around something than just lying flat.

[Her fellow Briton seems too innocent not to lie to about this. Not that Laura's a very good liar...]

[aceshighsniper.livejournal.com]

But why us!? And why does this cost over a hundred pounds!? You don't need an image of us for that!

[S-Sob. What the sod is this. It comes to her mind that the image is woefully under-dressed.]

... Do you?

[emorangerpink]

It... helps people sleep. Like a safety light. Having the image of one of their heroes watching over them.

[aceshighsniper.livejournal.com]

Uhm... Uhh-- Ahh...!!

But why am I not dressed enough!? But--

[OH COME ON, LAURA MIGHT BE IN THE SAME SHIT BETTER LUCK!]

What about you!? Do they have a product for you meant for that, Laura?

[emorangerpink]

I, uh... I don't think I'm famous enough. They came up with something more... niche.

[aceshighsniper.livejournal.com]

[Lynette... is now completely red. And she thought she had it bad.]

Y-You like men that much, Laura? I didn't know you were so good at it...

[Can she ask her for tips? :D]

[emorangerpink]

[Well she can always ask. XD]

Good at -!?

I haven't - I don't even like men, never mind, you know, lots of men...

...

I don't think... whoever made these was worried about... accuracy. Or appropriateness...

[Great, now cute girls think Laura's a maneater. This is even worse than it seemed at first.]

[aceshighsniper.livejournal.com]

--Not that there's anything wrong! I think it's good to be loved by many! But, um...

[Oh God in heaven what was the Captain thinking with sponsoring the crew this way.]

... Maybe they should have asked for our permissions first, since they aren't as accurate to ourselves.

[... Looks at her pillow. Or appriate. Sob.]

3

[coolblueiceman]

[Chrono is staring at a value pack of action figures labeled "Magical Girls of Earth: The Best", containing an assortment of figures. Nanoha, Fate, Arika, several of the Witches, and (in an odd choice) Nanohana and Eri are present. And packaged in with them...]

No. I want nothing to do with this. I don't care if I'm part of the Bureau and their front-line forces are typically female, I am not going to let this continue!

[...is Chrono, Barrier Jacket equipped as normal, and with a look only a true magical girl would be caught dead wearing, let alone a top male Bureau Enforcer. It is immediately apparent that no consideration to Chrono's gender was made.]

[wimpy-cure-ever.livejournal.com]

[Nanohana's looking at her finger. And she's looking.

And looking.

And slowly turning red from what's she's wearing and her... proportions. She looks down and lets out a sad sigh]

...I wish I was that big.

ignoring that she's not in the game yet...

[lets-treasure.livejournal.com]

[Luka's looking through the "Candy Toy" Ranger Keys.]

[And looking]

[And looking]

[And--]

Where the hell is my key?!

[emorangerblack.livejournal.com]

...

[Devon is standing next to a Devon wallscroll. Both have the same height, but only one of them looks like a CLAMP character. This includes certain elements straight out of Code GeASS if you catch my drift.

Also, the scroll!Devon's general state of undress and her facial expression makes it clear the scroll is not meant to be put on a wall.]

[emorangerpink]

...

[Still less than having any idea what to say, Laura has no idea where to look, neither the scroll nor the real Devon seeming safe. And yet, she can't seem to walk away.]

[vjockey.livejournal.com]

...

[Cheng too has no words for this situation. The male gaze was kept to the ground.]

3

[chozo_girl]

[Samus is simply in front of a TV, a Wiimote hanging in her hand. She doesn't emote a lot, but obviously whatever she's seeing is extremely strange, as one of her eyebrows is raised and she seems rather put off. But man, whatever can put off a woman that has been eating toasted starfish aliens to not use up resources must be noxious indeed.

On top of the Wii, an open box labeled "Other M" rests.]

2

[hobo_lantern]

Hey Werther did you see this? We got our own comic book adaptation! I don't think my chin is that sharp though. Or my fingers that long and slender. I kinda like the expression in the cover though.

1

[saikyocivrobo]

...I don't want to see what's inside that book.

[Fires a Prometheus action figure's rocket punch as Herb.]

White Mazinger here agrees with me.

3

[aprimeanswer.livejournal.com]

...What is...this is not right!

[Somehow, PRIME has obtained a swimsuit calendar of the top 12 hottest LYNX pilots. Except, they're all male. Nevermind that there's a picture of himself on June's page, in an outfit he knows he doesn't own.]

3

[emorangerpink]

[Laura doesn't know who got her likeness rights or how. All she knows is they don't do their research and have bizarre standards of notability.]

"How to Land a Hunk... And Then Another: Teach Me, Laura-tan-sensei!"?

[Yep, it's a manual on assembling a man-harem. Helpfully illustrated with many and varied pictures of oiled-up, sculpted male physiques. And a chibi Laura mascot nodding along approvingly throughout.

At least Laura-tan is fully clothed.]

3

[lightning-1.livejournal.com]

(Fate picks up what seems to be a comic.)

What's this? A comic of me and Nanoha? I wonder what it's about.

(Fate opens the comic and reads a few pages. Suddenly she starts blushing heavily and finally passes out with an anime style nosebleed that sends her flying across the room with a dream-like smile on her face.)